Note: I changed my legal name to Cyberwolfman a while back, and this is one of my first Web pages, so much of this information hasn't been updated in a very long time.
What am I like, what do I like, and what kind of a person am I? These and other burning questions I hope to answer for you here. But first, something to howl at. ;-)
Isn't she beautiful? :-) If that picture doesn't make you wanna howl, you're probably human.
Following is a little information about me. Hey, I'm not going tell you everything, okay?
Before you ask, I'm not rich, or a politician. LOL My political view is essentially that life, freedom (including FDR's four freedoms: freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want, freedom from fear), liberty, privacy, true justice, education, and the pursuit of happiness are sacred rights of the people unless what they do physically hurts others. On my blogs or other opinion pages, some might get sick of hearing me talk about such things, although I think they're the most important things in life. I love my country and have what many consider silly ideas of what it should be like, but, I don't trust the government (and hardly anyone else, for that matter).
I'm not the Internet boogeyman, either. While the regular boogeyman would be like a monster that growls in your closet or lives under your bed, the Internet boogeyman would be living on the Internet. ;-)
A few brief glimpses into my life:
Was playing chess by the age of four. Then, quickly got bored with it.
My early childhood was in a very poor family when even money to buy food was scarce. For years, there were times that on the days I was lucky enough to be fed, I had something along the lines of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And, yes, I had more than one parent. I'm the product of a multiply-broken home (or is that better written as multiply broken home, and, is it worse if it's more than just a couple of replacement parents, since I only had to live with three of my 'dads'?), and grew up very poor, but, I'm not the only one out there, so, nothing really special about that.
Was once asked to do an oral book report in school and, fighting my shyness, I did it, including quoting complete paragraphs from the book word for word. I got an A+ on it, but, for some odd reason, I was never asked to do another oral book report . . .
Rode a department store 10-speed bicycle in 100 mile bicycle rides called centuries, while everyone else had expensive brand-name bicycles. The bicycle century rides all seemed to start off with us getting rained on, then, the sun came out, and we got sun-burned on top of being squishy. But, hey, I finished it, when many others couldn't.
Designed and built my own stereo speakers (AKA speaker enclosures for those who prefer that phrase better), because the speakers they had in stores sucked. My first set of homemade speakers wasn't very elaborate, and consisted of just a woofer and midrange speaker in each, with the interior dimensions based upon how much air the woofers moved, and I got the L-pads and crossover networks from radio shack, but, they still sounded better than anything they had in the stores! But, let's face it; corporations that mass-produce stuff like speakers frequently use the cheapest parts they can find and often rely upon their brand names to convince people that what they're selling is worth buying when it usually isn't.
Built a pirate radio station that was only a few inches on a side. After that, I made an antenna for it at the optimum length for the frequency I wanted to transmit on after checking to find one that didn't have a radio station transmitting anywhere near it. Then, I realized that FM is pretty much line of sight, and I was in a small valley-like area with the potential for only a few hundred or so listeners, even if I put the antenna above the roof. So, if you have a memory of someone standing on a roof some years ago, late at night, holding a homemade antenna with a long coaxial cable and looking a little frustrated, that was me. But, building another type of transmitter (or 'intentional radiator' as the FCC called it), and combining a little knowledge of propagation, along with some good timing, I could transmit for hundreds of miles, and about a thousand miles if luck was with me that night. Good times! The small size of the transmitter made it easy to be mobile and not using AC power also helped me to avoid that annoying 60 cycle hum.
Was taught how to make things like nerve gas and nuclear weapons when I was a kid. But, was also informed of their effects on people in rather graphic detail, so, my opinion on those who use such things on others isn't very high and creating some of my own isn't on my to-do list . . .
Took the ASVAB years ago, back in the olive green uniform days. The lowest aptitude area score listed on my Personnel Qualification Record (DA Form 2-1) was 94 (this figure was based on me taking the older ASVAB, not the one they have now) which was in something I was doing for a job at the time. My highest scores were all well over 100 (only a couple were under 100), and, while they are known to the DOD, I'm not sharing them here or saying what the categories were. When I took the ASVAB, I was told I needed a 60 to pass it, 80 to get into most of what they had, and 90 to take my pick. Didn't have any kind of preparations before taking it, and I very rarely paid attention in class or read the books that the schools wanted me to study (I'll be honest, they bored me to tears, but, I still got passing grades). Long test, but, it had some of the dumbest questions on it that I've ever seen on a test in my entire life. Most of what they wanted to teach me in the service, I had already got a good head start on, having already been taught how to use firearms, learned some electronics, knew about the clandestine cell system, used radio communication equipment on a daily basis, bicycled for hours at a time (which probably helped build my stamina), took all of the shop courses such as arc welding, oxyacetylene gas welding, woodworking, small engine repair, and electronics (although I kind of already learned some when I was a little kid), et cetera. Thankfully, nobody asked me where I got my real education outside of the educational system or why my scores didn't jibe with my grades or the jobs I had up to that time.
My military career was shorter than I expected as I was ordered to jump from a structure during training by a superior officer (who didn't give the same order to the others with me and singled me out by name). Afraid that if I didn't follow orders, I would be either dishonorably discharged or locked up, I did as I was told, believing that those in charge of my training wouldn't order me to do something which would get me permanently injured while training. I was wrong . . . There were other incidents, like the one in which I was poisoned, but, I won't detail them here. After I was injured, I was unable to properly complete my training and I was called into the sergeants' office. After the door was closed, I was ordered to hurt myself or the sergeant there would "beat the sh*t" out of me. After some time, the sergeant offered me a way out of the pain; to quit the service. Seeing no other alternative, I agreed with his demands under duress. After that, he continued with his little game, saying that he wanted to be sure I wasn't just saying what he wanted to hear. Even today, I wonder how many people who wanted to serve their country were treated like that by that particular sergeant and others like him and how many of their victims grew to hate the United States so much that they joined terrorist organizations or helped fund them . . . Could bullets and explosives which killed thousands of soldiers and civilians the world over have been paid for by the victims of those abusing their authority in order to get their sadistic jollies off on the pain of others?
What I experienced in the service left me a little twitchy and very un-trusting of humans and especially authority figures (who, if you read history, frequently have a tendency to be corrupt and abuse their power). Since then, about the only way I can stand to be around or to interact with humans is to be . . . in an altered state of consciousness, preferably very altered, and, to be honest, I'd rather stay home and not have to deal with them at all.
Shortly after getting out of the service, I was told I should apply for Social Security disability. I did, and got it after they had me go see a doctor. The monthly payments were far less than the FPL (Federal Poverty Level), but, it was better than nothing.
Survived homelessness when one of my parents dropped me off on the street with my few possessions in grocery bags.
I learned the hard way that humans lie, hurt and kill others whenever they think they can get away with it. It's probably also where most of my confusion about humans started, when they kept claiming they were on your side, you were part of a team or unit and so on, but, they frequently hurt you or screw you over every chance they get. So, it's very, very difficult for me to trust anyone, and one of my main expressions is "trust is earned, not given upon the asking."
Learned to set my own bones when I was a young man. There's probably an emergency room doctor who's still freaked out about that after I went into an emergency room and he took x-rays and found out I had set three broken bones, myself. Kind of hoping they don't convert the medical records from years back into an electronic medium. From what I've been hearing, all your medical records may soon be on file for every doctor you go to. If something like that pops up when they check my medical records before seeing me . . . But, that was several years ago, so, I might be safe from that, at least. *Crosses fingers*
Since my time in the military, I've been told I wasn't as emotional or expressive with my emotions as most people, so I started spending a lot of time watching television shows, movies and later, music videos in an attempt to learn how to pass as a normal person. This has had limited success (but, I learned more about pop culture), as I've been told I try too hard during the times when I can tolerate being around humans and that my emotional response "seems kind of fakey" like I'm an android or an extraterrestrial (such as Mork) that's still learning to respond like a human.
Howled with a large pack of New Guinea singing dogs to welcome the new day. Had a nice howlapalooza event going on there, for a while.
Lived in slumlord kind of houses for most of my adult life. When even walking is a literal pain and you only have a few hundred dollars a month to live on for a good chunk of that timespan, you can't really be picky about where you live.
In one house I rented a room in, I only had to pay rent while the landlord paid the utilities. But, he insisted that his tenants go to church (which made some of his tenants hate organized religion or at least that church) and he put a steel lock box over the furnace's thermostat to keep it at 60 degrees throughout the winter.
At another time, I rented a very run-down house. I had to show the lease to the various utility companies to get the electric, water and gas turned on at the house. The landlord insisted they be in my name. So, I tried to get roommates to split the rent and utilities. Of the few roommates I could find, most of them were not very trustworthy. I even had to go so far as to buy a separate refrigerator for my own stuff and put a padlock on it. I also had to install a security camera on the front porch.
During my brief stay in a housing project, I thought it was almost heaven. The small apartment was on the 2nd floor so few people could break into my place via the windows and the entrance door to both the stairway below and my little apartment were steel with somewhat good locks on them. I didn't have to share living space with anyone, didn't have to ask them for their share of the rent or utilities and didn't have to share a bathroom or kitchen with them. I only had to pay for the rent and electric bill (together, they cost most of what I had to spend each month) and the only person I had to clean up after was myself. Not the best neighborhood to live in, however . . .
One of the houses I lived in during the mid-1990s to about 2003 is no longer there. Why? You probably don't want to know . . . But, if the sidewalk is still there, you might find some runes along the edge closest to the house near where the building was, although grass may have covered the edge by now.
Got on the Internet before there were Web pages. I primarily played the MUDs (Multi-User Dungeons) games, back when computer games were all text. Spent most of my time alone in the games, primarily exploring. Didn't play the MUDs for very long, though. Kept hoping something better would come out. It did, but, it took a while.
Spent a few years creating a 3D world, called This Is It, with a large park, streaming music, a pyramid, ziggurat, the Knowledge Infusion and Enhancement Matrix (where you could teach yourself whatever you wanted to learn at your own pace) and made TriviaBot, GreeterBot, ChessBot,
Shadow, dancing girl bots and dancing skeleton bots (for Samhain AKA halloween AKA all hallow's eve) to name a few. I was better at setting everything up than dealing with humans, so, I had the bots do that, and had them automatically eject anyone who used abusive language more than once, after giving them a warning. One of the things people said they liked about my 3D world was the Vidfeed Pavilion that had live video feeds from all over the world. I doubt if anyone ever found all of my secret rooms.
Since the mid 1990s, I've been doing my best to warn others about people in a slavery ring cult (some of them have even gone so far as to try to get it declared a religion) whose philosophy seems to match that of the Nazis and think that women should be treated as slaves, kidnapped, raped and killed whenever their masters decide. They use ActiveWorlds and other 3D chat programs to find victims. Unfortunately, I seem to be one of the only people who oppose them or think such things should be stopped, as evidenced by the lack of support to keep this Web site going. The thousands of unique visitors this Web site has every month have only donated a dollar or so every year or thereabouts, sending a pretty strong message that they approve of things like Nazism and modern-day slavery ring cults, and want them to continue. Even the FBI, who I've sent numerous letters to for years, didn't think it was worth the time to even send a form letter response telling me they got the letters and saying they'll look into it. The lives of the victims aren't even worth the cost of a stamp, apparently . . . I believe that the only time the authorities go after such people is when they get embarrassed into doing so by the media. One of the serial killer goreans wasn't stopped until he had killed multiple women and stuffed their remains in chemical drums or metal barrels.
Survived homelessness, again, as an adult. About the only things I have of any value now are a cheap computer, some comic books and my books. Maybe I should save up what little money I can and buy cheap digital copies of my books and comic books and get a really inexpensive tablet to store them on in case I become homeless again . . . Preferably one of the largest tablets they make, but, since I don't play the games that require the higher-end graphics chips, it can be relatively cheap. To be safe, I could make a physical back-up copy of the memory card, storing it somewhere safe, and update it every so often in case I lose the tablet or it gets stolen or damaged.
Moved to the Bermuda Triangle.
Once got married in a straitjacket. Yes, a real straitjacket. LOL
Survived hurricane Wilma, and the weeks with no power. This is when I noticed that utilities are restored to businesses and those in the upper-class neighborhoods first and those in poorer neighborhoods have their power restored last, long after the radio stations stop giving updates about how many people are still left without power.
For almost four years, I was essentially fighting for my life with the Florida DCF. For some odd reason, it took them almost four years after receiving a court order to change a single database field when I got my name changed. More information about that is on the Florida Department of Children and Families: Incompetent or intentionally sadistic page.
Aside from that, I've been spending most of my time watching television shows and movies (most of them suck, and make me realize how much time I'm wasting by watching them), trying to train myself to pass as a human.
Years after being tortured into quitting the service, hoping to get a little extra money per month to help someone who was obviously in more need of it than me and to maybe get an inexpensive online education so I could help others like the homeless by trying to build them homes, I learned that thanks to the sadistic sergeant I mentioned earlier, I didn't get a medical discharge for the permanent damage that was done to me in the service or disability compensation from the Veterans Administration. So, gone are any silly dreams I had of possibly helping thousands of others with the remainder of my life. Now, I may have to spend the rest of my life trying to get the veterans disability I should have been getting for years. I acted honorably and followed orders. The reward for doing the right thing is to get screwed over for life. This is the lesson the military has taught me. My only desire was to be a good soldier and serve my country. I hope that sergeant gets back ten times what he did to me and when he dies, he burns in Hell for all eternity. If I'm sent to Hell for that thought and the things I think he deserves to have done to him, I hope that I'm allowed to spend at least part of my time there punishing him and others like him.
The person who needs more help than me, who I was trying to help:
Haven't had any college education. Not even a single day of college classes. Most of what I've learned, I've learned on my own, like Web site design by looking at multiple Web sites and their code. I'm probably not as good as a professional Web site designer (who aren't in very high demand now, since things like Facebook have started up), but, I do well enough to make my own basic Web pages, and I come up with things that the professionals lack the imagination to come up with themselves.
Wouldn't mind going to college, but, being below the FPL (Federal Poverty Level), I don't have thousands of dollars to spend for each year of college (even for a community college) on tuition, fees, books, transportation (don't have a car or even a driver's license and couldn't afford the insurance on a car, anyway, and, as for public transportation, having me sober and straight (so I can pay attention in class) on a crowded bus filled with humans for one to two hours or so every day that I go to school isn't a good idea) or rent for an apartment or very small house where I can feel safe and be away from humans on or very near a college campus (which I'm sure is probably a lot more expensive than living in slumlord type houses), et cetera, so that's out. Having problems being around humans is also extremely difficult for me. I've been on the receiving end of their true nature too many times to trust them, so, I don't think that being in a class with a lot of humans in it is a good learning environment for me . . . Thought about the on-line education stuff, but, you still have to buy the textbooks, which aren't cheap. If you're well below the poverty level, the cost of textbooks isn't something you have the money for. Then there's the whole accreditation thing . . . If I have the training, but no degree, I may not be able to get an entry-level job in the field I want to get some on-the-job training in.
How I feel inside:
Skip this part, if, like most people, you don't give a crap.
You may have noticed that I haven't said much about my feelings, or how some of the above makes me feel. How do you think it makes me feel?
Can you imagine what it's like to keep most of your memories hidden from your own conscious mind? To have to constantly keep yourself distracted and your thoughts on almost anything but what you've been through and the stuff that keeps going through your mind? But, that doesn't work very well, either, as you sometimes see in a television show, or movie, or hear on the radio something that draws one of those memories up, spiking into your mind and driving a red-hot dagger of pain through your heart, twisting in your guts. But, crying in a no-no. Humans, being humans, think that other people's pain and misery are amusing, so, if you cry, they'll likely just laugh about it.
One of the things that hits me hardest is scenes in movies or television shows where it shows a family sitting down together for a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner or people joining together to help someone out. That's right, go ahead and show me something that I never had and can never have, and rip the heart out of my chest. What is a family Christmas like, where you are surrounded by those who love you and you can trust not to hurt you or screw you over in some way? Don't ask me. All those 'feel good' movies are just bull. For a minute or so while watching something like a Disney movie, you might be caught up in the illusion that humans can be nice to others, but, that's a short-lived illusion, and you quickly remember the truth.
When I'm asked in public how I feel, I usually say I'm fine, or I give them some goofy line I made up so I can avoid answering that question honestly. Besides, I doubt if they really care. As I've said elsewhere, most humans don't care about anyone but themselves, and the only time they act nice to you is when it's their job, or they want something out of you, or they're doing it for better P.R. for themselves or their organization.
But, through most of my life, and even today, I live in fear of humans, the cruel, sadistic monsters who are intolerant of even the slightest difference in anyone and take such great delight in hurting others in any way they can, if they think they can get away with it. In addition to that, I'm frustrated with almost every part of life and not just when stuff doesn't work the way it's supposed to and isn't built to last. I feel like I'm totally alone even when I'm in a large room filled with people, and in such a situation I want to get out of there as soon as possible. I've never fit in or truly belonged anywhere. That feeling really kicked in after I joined the military and realized the 'team spirit' kind of thing you hear about was nothing but B.S. especially if you're treated like you're not part of the team soon after you start your training. Very few people can understand me or could comprehend the thoughts, emotions, and memories that I keep bottled up inside of me. Those who might have been able to understand me likely committed suicide or have been locked up because society thought they were crazy or because they couldn't take it anymore and wanted to hurt someone back. So, I try to act (for the most part) how they think I should act as I keep the majority of my thoughts and emotions inside, knowing they wouldn't be understood, while feeling as though my attempts to socialize with others are more awkward appearing (so I've been told) than the more embarrassing moments of an old Jerry Lewis movie.
Let's face it though, when you spend most of your life living in terror every waking moment (primarily of humans), and not just of your feeling of social awkwardness of saying or doing the wrong thing even if it's just to say hello, you have a tendency to keep stuff bottled up very tightly. I'm the kind of guy who wouldn't feel safe even inside of a house of his own design, with both steel and concrete walls, deadbolts, security cameras, weapons and locks that can only be opened with a combination of a password or PIN, a retinal scan, and a security card swipe. I can easily imagine ways to kill people inside such places, so, I know they're not safe.
As you might imagine, I don't get much real sleep, and my nightmares make horror movies look pretty tame by comparison. The full color remote viewing and precognitive dreams (even the ones that have big buildings in them, maps with odd symbols and people with blue guns) aren't very relaxing, either . . .
One person called me a misanthrope, although that only really touches the surface. In my case, that means I have an extremely deep distrust of humans. My time in the military contributed a lot to that . . . Some of the things I mentioned above might give you a clue as to why I don't trust humans. Put it this way; if someone attempts to hug me, I expect they're either going to literally stab me in the back or they're trying to distract me from noticing someone doing something which will affect me in a bad way.
As for what I try to distract myself with:
When I was younger, the primary thing I liked to do was learn pretty much everything. I had always liked learning new things, especially if I could use what I learned. Most of my time as a young kid (and occasionally as an adult when I'm not too distracted with what's going on in my head) was spent reading up on subjects like cybernetics, genetic engineering, history, transmogrification, cold fusion, telekinesis AKA psychokinesis, nanotechnology, technology, biological mimicry AKA biomimicry AKA biomimetics (scratchproof sunglasses and eyeglasses, anyone?) dark matter and dark energy (yes, they're two different things), electronarcosis, artificial intelligence, the technological singularity, stealth technology, virtual reality, precognition, gravitational lensing, teleportation, and molecular regeneration. When I was younger, most of what I read was science-fiction and when I read a word or phrase I didn't recognize, I looked it up in the dictionary. If it wasn't in the dictionary, I wrote it down so I could look it up in the library in the big dictionary or find more information about it in the card catalog. This was how I got some of my real education before I joined the military.
After getting on the Internet, during those times when my brain was . . . better behaved, my learning rate shifted into overdrive. While I used to spend most of my free time in the libraries, looking stuff up in the card catalog, going to where the book should be on the shelves (if it wasn't checked out, or someone left it somewhere else in the library), checking the index in the back of each book for page numbers where the author thinks information about what you're looking for is, and reading on average, about half that page, and, in most cases, finding out that it was absolutely no help whatsoever. Now, I just do Web searches, use the Ctrl+f keys to find what I'm looking for on the page faster, and, if that wasn't what I was looking for, try another Web page. So, yes, when I'm able to learn, and things are quiet for me, I learn a lot faster, now. LOL
But, I try not to let most of the people in the real world know how fast I learn and all the subjects I get interested in. Sometimes, though, I screw up and they find out. Which usually ends up with them figuring out that I'm some kind of freak . . .
For example, I went to see an ophthalmologist once, and, as usual, being nervous, I talked too much. Usually, it's not so bad; I bounce around with multiple subjects and odd trivia, but, this time, I stayed (more or less) focused on the field of ophthalmology, talking about slit lamp biomicroscopic examinations, the dilated eye exam, presbyopia, CVS, wavefront aberrometry, a simulated computer screen for an eye exam (since that's what I primarily needed the prescription eyeglasses for), progressive lenses versus bifocals, where the top part of the bifocals are for the computer, with the focal length about 35 inches, while the bottom part was for reading and seeing the keyboard. He asked me where I studied, and I made the mistake of being honest with him, and told him I had simply spent a few hours during one of those rare times I could concentrate studying ophthalmology before the appointment to see him.
Among some of the things that you can see of mine on this Web site are my writings, photography and web page designs.
Writings: You can find a few of my short stories here, and I've also written other things, but most I tend not to share with the rest of the world.
Photography: Some of my pictures I've included on my pages for the general public to view. Others, I keep private. I take pictures of sunsets, storms, historical buildings, fountains, monuments, people (but, dealing with humans works better after I've had at least a few drinks so I'm not so . . . me), animals, parties (where drinking is the norm so it gets a little easier for me), parades (by staying back in the crowd so I'm not noticed as often) and other city events, et cetera.
Web pages: You're looking at one. ;-) They may not be as fancy as some professional Web sites are, but, at least I can say I don't have those annoying spinning things where content isn't loading, very many broken image links, or advertisements. I used to have a set of framed pages, along with my non-framed pages, but I removed the framed pages once I was able to produce them easily. Now, I'm avoiding using almost any Flash and using almost entirely CSS for some special things. I've done coding for some Air Force people, and once had my own web design business, but, dealing with humans wasn't something I could take on a regular basis (even e-mailing with humans as part of the job was a pain), so, that didn't work out for me. My latest experiments in HTML can't be seen correctly in crappy browsers, even though I'm using things that have been standardized since 1996 (I really don't like micro$haft!), so I recommend good Web browsers like the free Firefox Web browser. Some people like Google Chrome, too, but, it seems to be made more for those who don't like to fiddle around with customization features, which are quickly fading away. For example, you can no longer right-click on an advertiser's picture and have it block images from that server. But then, most of the world (including the politicians, police, and courts) seem to be controlled by corporations, and allowing people the ability to block ads would cut into their profits, so . . . They took that option away. Freedom of choice is a big no-no in the humans' eyes!
Yes, I'm the Grok Wolf that had his name inscribed on the Stardust spacecraft, part of which returned to Earth on January 15th, 2006 after its seven year mission to the comet Wild 2. When it completed its mission and dropped off the sample return capsule to Earth, the Stardust spacecraft remained in space, and it will carry my name on it forever.
My name is also on the Mars Exploration Rover Mission. In both the Mars rovers, Spirit and Opportunity. DVDs with my name on them were at Meridiani Planum in the Opportunity rover, and at Gusev Crater in the Spirit rover.
You can also find my name on the New Horizons spacecraft, that launched on January 19th, 2006 and headed for Pluto, its moon, Charon, and the Kuiper Belt. Also on board are some of Clyde Tombaugh's ashes. For those of you who don't know who he is, he's the astronomer who discovered Pluto in 1930. He was born in Illinois in 1906. Not being satisfied with the quality of a store-bought telescope, he made his own. I frequently do the same thing and for the same reason, or if what I need doesn't exist yet (humans have limited imaginations), and I have to create it, myself. LOL On February 18, 1930, Clyde Tombaugh discovered the planet Pluto while at the Lowell Observatory (Percival Lowell predicted that a planet would be found beyond Neptune, where Pluto sometimes is) in Flagstaff, Arizona. He died on January 17, 1997, at the age of 90.
What will the New Horizons probe find as it peers deep into Pluto's cold heart? Will the sight of a spacecraft from the inner solar system melt the icy heart of Pluto and produce a forbidden love between these two in the cold depths at the farthest reaches of the solar system? Who knows? But, like the song says, you've gotta have hope. And, you've gotta have heart. Miles and miles of heart . . .
An interesting side note about Pluto: The name Pluto was suggested by an 11 year old girl named Venetia Burney from Oxford, England, for the Roman god of the underworld (his Greek name was Hades or Polydectes). Her great-uncle was Henry Madan (1838-1901). He was the guy who suggested that Mars' two moons be named Phobos and Deimos.
So, I'm certifiably spacey. ;-) But, some would just say certifiable . . .
Guess I'm really crazy if Alice Cooper thinks I'm nuts. LOL
Favorite authors that I read for fun: Robert A. Heinlein (or RAH to some science-fiction fans), Larry Niven (I hope they someday make a movie or television series about his Known Space stories and the Ringworld), Christopher Stasheff, Wilson Tucker, Roger Zelazny, Steven Brust, Murray Leinster, Marion Zimmer Bradley (also known as MZB. I mostly like her Darkover series), and Neal Stephenson. About the only place I can find to get away from everything and escape the harshness of life, where I seem to be surrounded by cruel, sadistic humans who only care about themselves, or, if they care about me at all, was what they could get me to do for them, is sci-fi books, and these, along with lots of other authors (I've read literally thousands of sci-fi stories) opened up whole universes to me. If I was able to, I'd prefer to spend my time living in my imagination, inside the various versions of reality and the worlds within them that were based, sometimes loosely, upon what I've read, or what I thought up myself. When I was younger, my favorite form of escape started off with me reading something I liked and thinking about how cool it would be if I was there, or if it was different in some way I thought up on the spur of the moment, as I read the text, and away I went, if only in my mind.
I've read and collected a few comic books, but, can't afford to buy new ones, anymore, since they now want a few dollars for each one. The primary comics I liked were the X-titles (Wolverine, Excalibur (They've canceled the comic, and I really miss Rachel Summers. Not only because she liked to dress in skin-tight, shiny spandex (she looked very yummy), but also because she seemed to be both a fairly intelligent and powerful female character, who wasn't evil, which is kind of rare in a non-villain character), X-Men, X-Factor, X-Force, Uncanny X-Men, X-Man, et cetera), but some others like Gen-13 and Deadpool (he actually made a reference to Alice Cooper in volume 1, number 2 of his own comic book series) as well. BTW, for those interested, I read in the letters section (called X-Pressions in this title) of issue #86 of X-Men dated March, 1999, that since the X-Men have been published back in 1963, only about seven years have passed for them in their lives. Sounds like they experience duration on a different temporal axis.
I enjoy listening to it the most when I have at least a few drinks in me and I'm in a fairly safe place with a nice view through mirrored and tinted windows where I can't be bothered by humans or even be seen by them. A perfect set up would be a relatively small (about four and a half feet deep by eight feet long by about seven to eight feet high is probably optimal) enclosed balcony (to me, that means insulated windows starting about three feet off the floor all the way around which I can open for fresh air with support beams between them and a ceiling over it all) with a locked door (not to the outside, but to the inside of the house), preferably well-insulated and fairly soundproof (I like listening to my favorite songs at fairly high volume) and off the 2nd floor, with an awning, looking out on a busy street and sidewalk, and a stereo system with large speakers, capable of producing some good, deep bass a few feet away on either side of me (think of the ten and two positions on a wall-mounted chronometer. Or, if you prefer, an analog clock) and a subwoofer under my chair with the stereo cranked up so high I can feel the bass throbbing through my body. It feels so good! :-) If I was rich (to me, that would be $50,000 or more a year) I'd also include a half bath just inside the house, a refrigerator close by (or just build the balcony off the kitchen), a small room air conditioner in the enclosed space that isn't directly blowing on me, a fire extinguisher just inside the locked door to the inside of the house, a couple of surveillance cameras with overlapping coverage, bullet-proof windows, and, maybe, a door leading to an exposed balcony on the far end of the enclosed balcony for me to get out on and howl when the mood strikes me, if there's no humans out, and there's no close neighbors. While some people yearn for expensive watches, diamond rings, condos, and cars worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, I'd be happier with my little dream party spot and I'd probably be out there on days I want to drink for several hours, or most of a day and night cycle. LOL Although I once created my own homemade speakers with 15 inch woofers in them (an old picture of my first set of homemade speakers taken with a cheap 110 camera), I don't currently have anything like that, or even an enclosed front porch to drink on. Someday, I hope to be able to do that, again. After all, it's cheaper to drink at home, and safer, too, since there's no humans around and there's no risk of DUI. ;-)
How I partied once in a while from around 1993 to 2003: Private party on the porch. As you can tell, this was for Halloween AKA Samhain AKA All Hallows' Eve. The door, of course, was locked. This is about as close as I can get to socially interacting with humans comfortably, and I needed to drink at least a few beers before I could do it. You can see by my empty beer can pyramid in the first window on the right, that I had only drank three beers so far (not including whatever bottled beer or shots of Irish cream or rum I had), and the almost empty liter-sized glass beer mug with the last ounce or so of the last beer was on the 2nd step. The sign was kind of a Halloween warning sign. I sometimes put up a homemade sign or two for fun. In the window to the left of the storm door was where I had the back of my cheap stereo with the used CDs piled on top of it.
Some of my favorite songs (these aren't in any real order that I'm aware of except maybe the first few. The last two are some of my favorites, too, while the others I like better when I'm in the right mood. The song titles are in white, artist and group names are in blue and album and movie names are in green. Kind of makes things easier to find this way):
Veteran of the Psychic Wars (this is probably my favorite song by anyone, not because of the way it sounds, but because the lyrics strike a chord with me) by Blue Oyster Cult off of the Heavy Metal movie soundtrack album, Information High written by Yoko Kanno (sung by Gabriela Robin in English), Howl (or Howling Theme as it's listed on the Howling II soundtrack) by Stephen W. Parsons AKA Steve Parsons, Weird Science by Oingo Boingo, Monster by Skillet, Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World, Underneath the Radar by Underworld, Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Take Me Away by Blue Oyster Cult, Tonight, Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins, Raise Your Glass by Pink, Sanctuary by Alice Cooper off of his Brutal Planet album, Is Anyone Home by Alice Cooper off of his album A Fistful of Alice (think he called it the first Internet blues song), Some guys have all the luck by Robert Palmer off of his Addictions volume 1 album (I love the lyrics! Oh, yeah!), I know there's something going on (Loved the music (I think Phil Collins might've played the drums in this one) and her voice mostly) by Frida off of The big 80's (supposedly volume 1) put out by VH-1, Cherry Pie by Warrant off of their Cherry Pie album, Shout it out by Slaughter, Battle stations by Winger, Drinking Again by Neverland, off of the Bill & Ted's bogus journey movie soundtrack album, Gimme the prize (Kurgan's theme) by Queen off of their A kind of magic album (I think that this might be the closest thing to a soundtrack album for the Highlander movie (the original one, which also happens to be one of my favorite movies from the 1980's) ), Escape off of the Welcome to My Nightmare album, and Wind up toy off of the Hey stoopid album by Alice Cooper, et cetera. Someday I might add more.
Some of my favorite musical groups and artists: Alice Cooper, Jello Biafra (technically, not music, but he does a lot of interesting 'spoken word' albums on subjects such as freedom, liberty, and governments' abuse of power) KISS, Twisted Sister, Queen, Big Pig (no guitars, mostly great sounding drums and female vocals. If you've seen the movie Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and could hear the music in it, you've already heard one of their songs. It was I Can't Break Away (off of their Bonk album) and it was playing while the big gold thing that became a phone booth which was actually a time machine was coming down from the ceiling), Def Leppard, et cetera. Okay, so it's mostly '80s music, but so what? To me, it sounds a lot better than most of the stuff they're playing on the radio now that doesn't even sound that original and it doesn't make me feel anything (unlike the music I've already mentioned) or the dance music/hip-hop/(c)rap music or whatever they're calling it that the d.j.s play in the bars. Yuck!!! BTW, I think it's sad that music artists have to do 'cover' songs (re-doing old songs by other artists) to make a living. I'm sorry that they can't get by with their own song writing ability, but since most of the songs that they re-do sound terrible when compared to the original, I think they should stick with their own material, or have someone write them something original. I heard that some group even re-did one of Alice Cooper's songs for a movie soundtrack. I didn't bother watching the movie after I heard that.
The best music makes you feel good inside, has good lyrics (that you can easily understand), and, preferably, has some good bass in it. Those are my qualifications. Your opinion is probably different.
Hmm... all of that should give you some idea of what I'm like. If you're curious to learn even more about me, you can do it while reading some of my other pages, listed below.
Other pages on this Web site:
For a more complete list, please try the Site Map page, or the Main page, which doesn't list all the pages, but, is more interesting to look at than the Site Map page which is almost all links.
:+: Site Map :+: Main page :+: South Florida Entertainment Review :+: Nikola Tesla :+: This Is It :+: United States of America Healthcare Reform and Universal Healthcare Public Plan :+: City of Heroes Review :+: Internet Help :+: Cool Quotes :+: Sleep Tips and REMville :+: VidScans (honest movie reviews and honest TV show reviews) :+: E-mail Privacy / PGP :+: Repressed Technology :+: ID Chip Implants :+: 3D Chat: 3D Chat Programs Reviewed :+: The Truth about humans :+: Stories :+: School Violence: What Causes School Violence :+: Alice Cooper :+: Green Lasers :+: Trivia :+: Laugh Machine :+: WinMX Help :+: Bloomington-Normal Illinois Dining Guide :+: Bloomington-Normal Illinois Bars :+: Hospital Reviews :+: Florida Hospitals Review :+:
Cyberwolfman's Pix #1.
Cyberwolfman's Pix #2.
Cyberwolfman's Pix #3. Pictures taken in the ActiveWorlds 3D chat program.
Cyberwolfman's Pix #4. Back to the real world. Includes Halloween pictures, party pictures, more pictures of Bloomington-Normal Illinois including events, people, and theaters.
Cyberwolfman's Pix #5. Pictures of fountains, buildings, and people, including some radio D.J.s.
Copyright © Cyberwolfman™ aka CyberWoLfman™ aka Grok Wolf. All Rights Reserved.