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Mental Illness


  Feeling a little depressed sometimes?  You should read this before you try to talk to someone about it.  If you have a depression problem of if cruelty to others that can't fight back upsets you (welcome to the club!), you should go to my main page, and try one of the other pages listed there.
  As far as I know all of the following information is true.  You can either believe it or not.  The choice is yours.  A good portion of this information was given to me by some people at a west-side bar (the suits on the east side bored me) that I used to drink with when I lived in Bloomington-Normal Illinois.  They always seemed to be there near the start of the month.  You'll likely find them there, now, or others like them.  Just be prepared for a lot of cussing and anger when asking about this subject.  Further information was dug up from some books I found on the subject, most of them written in the last few years, so the information would be fairly current, and some television documentaries.
  This is what happens when you ask someone for help!  It shows the lack of compassion of those in the medical community (including doctors and nurses), the police, and most especially the people at some of these 'crisis lines' and reveals their sadistic true selves.  If they're ignorant of this and are doing it to people thinking that they're actually helping them, I'm sorry and retract that last statement.  But they should know the truth if they don't already.  I'm a sensitive person (okay, maybe a little too sensitive sometimes.  A very, very few of you know why) and when I found out about this I had to do what I could to try to prevent other people from being treated like this or I couldn't sleep.  Please read this (if you're not too sensitive yourself.  I don't want anyone else to feel bad.  If you like, you can just go to my main page) and spread the word.  Maybe we can stop this from ever happening again.

  You're feeling really depressed and you just want someone to talk to.  Maybe in the hopes that talking to someone will make you think that the world isn't full of cruel, sadistic people that take pleasure in hurting others?  You call up your local 'crisis line'.  If you talk to the person there and let them know what you're feeling and tell them that you've been thinking about suicide or hurting yourself (or someone else even) lately, you're making a big mistake!

  They'll keep you on the phone while summoning the police to your location without telling you.  They can trace your call to where you're at so you don't even have to tell them.  The police will show up and handcuff you.  Then they'll take you to the hospital (BroMenn if you're in Bloomington/Normal Illinois area from what I've heard) and some person from the 'crisis line' you called will be there to talk to you and act like they care.  They'll insist that you voluntarily admit yourself to the hospital and if you don't want to and you tell them that you just want to go home, you'll be involuntarily admitted.  You have no choice!

  You will be humiliated by being made to strip completely naked in front of a security guard and they'll then take all of your clothes away from you including your underwear.  They'll give you some thin, flimsy hospital clothes to wear instead.

  You'll then be taken against your will to a locked ward with electronic locks on the doors and thick metal screens with deadbolt locks on the windows.  I think I understand why the thick metal screens with the deadbolt locks are on the windows.  If I was taken to a place like this and had to endure torture, forced imprisonment and humiliation, I'd be hurling myself through the window and very happily dying on impact if the window was that high off the ground to escape that!!!  I've heard that jail is very similar in its appearance and feel so if you've ever been in one, you'll know what it looks like.

  The room you're taken to in that locked ward will have a single bed in the middle of the small room.  There is a video camera that's built into the wall so you can't even smudge the lens that keeps you under constant observation so that everything you do is watched.  You have no privacy.

Forced Medication:

  You will be given medication with terrible side effects.  From what I've heard from some of the people I've talked with that were given something called Haldol, and later on, verfied through other sources, it's like your entire nervous system is given an electric shock 24 hours a day and you feel like you're having the shakes throughout your entire body and you can't relax even if you sit down (which supposedly makes it feel even worse), and it fogs up your brain, making you a zombie, so you can't think straight.  Your brain is no longer allowed to function properly, and it's like you've been given a lobotomy.  The restlessness and inability to sit still is called acathisia by some, and akathisia by others.  In some cases, it's an increased anxiety, whereas in others, it fills them with terror.  The inability to think clearly is the Parkinson's disease like symptoms that are caused by the drugs blocking the dopamine receptors in the brain.  Because some people can't accurately describe what they're feeling, they're usually prescribed higher dosages, which makes things even worse, and many of those able to communicate have called it a kind of chemical torture and felt tormented by this.  In one book, a guy described it as a pain that's deep inside of you, lasting for several hours, and your back stiffens up and you can't move your neck or head, and even breathing is a painful experience.  From what I've been reading, and the show I saw on the subject, the drugs they force you to take also permanently damage your brain, and the pictures I've seen show that parts of the brain are chemically burned away from the nerves, so if you take some of this stuff, don't count on ever getting back to what level of brain activity you had before.  If your brain's been damaged in this manner, I think you can pretty much count on remaining that way for the rest of your life.  If you think the people in the hospital care if they hurt you, you're in for a very nasty surprise!  One person said it made their nervous system so screwed up that he couldn't even read for more than about 15 minutes before his eyes blurred, and said that he gets these really sudden and violent dizzy spells sometimes that're so bad that they make him fall down and he lives with the fear that he's gonna be riding a motorcycle or going up a ladder or something, get one of those dizzy spells and get killed.  If you tell the doctors and nurses that the medication is hurting you and ask, beg and plead with them to not have to take the medication, it's been said that they'll strap you down and force you to or possibly even inject you with something worse.  You have no choice and apparently they don't care what it does to you or makes you feel like.  :-(

  I've even heard that they'll let you sign a voluntary admission paper that supposedly will give you the right to refuse medication after a while in there.  One guy did and he thought that what it said was true on the paper about having the right to refuse medication.  Sucker!  You can't depend on humans to be honorable, especially ones that're holding you prisoner against your will!  :-(  Duh!!  He was begging the nurse to be allowed to leave and go home because he couldn't stand it there anymore with the torture, lack of privacy, humiliation and being held against his will.  The nurse gave him some medication and he thought he had a right to refuse to take it (he was stupid enough to believe that what the voluntary admission form said was the truth and that the humans there were going to  honor what it said.  Yeah, right!  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!).  He was told he could either take the medication or (you guessed it!) be strapped down on a bed and injected.  It's like they expect you to like it there or something.  I don't know about anyone else, but if I had a choice of either being held there against my will and getting humiliated, tortured and threatened by such obviously sadistic people or taking a bullet in the head, I'd choose the bullet!!!

  This is how they treat you and they'll keep you there for weeks or even in one case I heard about over a month and possibly longer.

  There's also been reports around the U.S. of people that were forced into these hospitals being killed by the staff.  Several of them were killed by situations similar to the following:  The hospital nurses and interns wrapping them up in a blanket, then tightening the blanket around them with straps so they couldn't get loose, almost smothering them, and then beating on them.  They'd also inject them with the drugs that the patient refused to take, knowing that the drugs would hurt them.  One time this happened to a teenage girl.  In her letter to her mother she asked her to please take her out of the hospital, because she felt they were going to kill her.  Her mother didn't, and not surprisingly, the girl's prediction came true.  They had injected her and then left her in the room strapped into that blanket like that, soaking in her own vomit and urine, not even bothering to check if she still had a pulse.  :-(  It went to court, and it was ruled an accident.  :-(

  Obviously, the hospitals wouldn't treat a patient like this if they came in for a broken arm or leg, but if someone is really depressed, and they need someone to talk to and at least act like they care, they call up one of these 'crisis lines' and they end up getting treated like this!  This is not the way to treat people that need help!!

  My advice to you is: Don't call any 'crisis line' or any agency or organization public or private if you need someone to talk to!  As far as I know, all of them might do the same thing to you and if you're seeing a counselor, your counselor might do it to you, too.  Remember that line (I don't know who came up with it first of else I'd give them credit.  I try to be honest).  Just because people think you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that people aren't out to get you!  Try to find a true friend (good luck!) that will be kind, caring, considerate, understanding and that you can trust not to call someone and report you (for all I know, they'll come and take you away!) thinking that they'll help you.

  Think 'paranoid'!  The real world isn't the rosy world you may've been told it was.  It sucks big time, and people are out there who will kill you if they get the chance!

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